I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
