ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
