I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
