Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What a dumb baby whore.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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