you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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