i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize