You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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