i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
