fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
