rhymes with "ouble enetration"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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