he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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