matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize