i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
