gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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