yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
