Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
