we made out on top of his cat.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
