I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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