dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
