just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
