I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
