But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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