What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
