hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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