im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
