She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize