RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I pour the whiskey from now on
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