afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And then he peed in my hair
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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