I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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