singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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