Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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