someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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