yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
