Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
