I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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