she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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