she was so not down for the gang bang
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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