Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
