i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Randomize
