I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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