Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Pants are for mortals
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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