hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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