Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
