...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
