we made out on top of his cat.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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