Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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