My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
