There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
