we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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