All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
