woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
