I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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