I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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